RatLinks: December 2019 - Issue #12
Trademarks | Holiday Gifts | Literary Beef
Welcome back to the holiday edition of RatLinks.
Allow me to be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas!
As you know the war on Christmas is over; officially ending last year. Now no matter your race, religious denomination or creed, Merry Christmas is now the only appropriate holiday greeting. Unless of course you are in a parking lot then Happy Honda-Days may suffice.
This month’s issue takes roughly 12 minutes to read and discusses:
Holiday Gifts (Four Minute Read)
Trademarks (Four Minute Read)
Literary Beef (Four Minute Read)
Before we dive in, thanks to everyone who listened and shared RatLinks A Podcast.
The most common feedback was unfortunately not “you sound great” it was “can I be a guest on your podcast?”
The answer is a resounding maybe.
Do you have something interesting to talk about?
Is this something other people will be interested in?
If so, lets talk.
Seriously.
As always, you can return to this issue and find all previous issues at ratlinks.com.
Look out for the December RatLinks podcast dropping in the next few days on ratlinks.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Was this issue forwarded to you?
If you would like to get RatLinks delivered monthly to your inbox use the button below.
WESTERNS HERE THERE AND EVERY-WEAR
Everything these days is having a renaissance.
This time feels different, this time it appears a bit more expansive than the usual renaissance, which historically has been limited to three basic categories: Renaissance Men, Renaissance Fairs & Renaissance Hotels.
My favorite renaissance right now is: TV
This month both Apple and Disney each launched their own over the top, monthly subscription TV product. Apple’s product hasn’t gotten much traction and isn’t worth focusing on yet.
Disney on the other hand has launched an all out assault to make sure everyone everywhere knows about Disney+.
You can’t go anywhere without seeing ads for Disney+.
From Dancing with the Stars to ESPN, everyone aboard the Disney Death Star is perfectly calibrated to alert you to the launch of their new product.
I am not a Disney+ subscriber but it appears one of the main reasons to sign up is The Mandalorian, a Star Wars epic about, and I’m guessing here, the adventures of some sort of male space panda and a Baby Yoda.
Personally, I never really got into Star Wars.
However, that doesn’t mean I don’t get why people obsess over it.
I do get that.
My conjecture is that Star Wars is appealing, because it is a space western. Better articulated by Derek Thompson in his book Hit Makers: The Science of Popularity in an Age of Distraction
There’s a simple formula for making a product that appeals to the world: Human beings like things that are pleasingly familiar, with a gentle touch of surprise. We like movies like Star Wars that combine genres we already know — Westerns, a hero’s journey — in new and exciting ways (in space!)
Quentin Tarantino’s latest, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, is a tale about the old Hollywood system and the Manson Family, but in reality the film is a re-purposed Western about an actor who stars in Westerns, a sort of meta-western.
Why has this seemingly tired genre proved so enduring and driven so much evolutionary content?
Why are westerns having a renaissance? Readers may remember, the American West is also having a renaissance, highlighted in Ratlinks Issue #9 “Ah E Ah Grand Opening September”.
Westerns are having a renaissance in theory because almost all stories can be described as western-like and westerns can act as a vehicle for almost all major plot lines:
Overcoming the Monster - The protagonist sets out to defeat an antagonistic force (often evil) which threatens the protagonist and/or protagonist's homeland.
Rags to Riches - The poor protagonist acquires power, wealth and/or a mate then loses it all and gains it back, growing as a person as a result.
The Quest - The protagonist and companions set out to acquire an important object or to get to a location. They face temptations and other obstacles along the way.
Voyage and Return - The protagonist goes to a strange land and, after overcoming the threats it poses to them, they return with experience.
Tragedy - The protagonist's character flaw or great mistake is their undoing. Their unfortunate end evokes pity at their folly and the fall of a fundamentally good character.
Comedy - A dramatic work in which the central motif is the triumph over adverse circumstance resulting in a successful or happy conclusion
Rebirth - An event forces the main character to change their ways and often becomes a better person.
As we enter the New Year, I hope it is a time of reflection and that conflicts in your life can be neatly summarized in any of the above plot lines but that is:
Instead, let’s talk about what the holiday season is really about:
Egg Nog, Office Parties, Ugly Sweaters, and GIFTS!
How many of us have a gentleman in our life that you know or love? ✋
How many of us have no idea what to get this person? ✋
Now are you wondering what westerns and gifts have to do with each other?
A few years ago, I noticed a gap in the market in the traditional neck-wear market.
Ties were staid, stogy and
To solve for this market need, I co-founded a company called calinY (pronounced: kal-lehn-why).
calinY is a brand that brings together California cool and NY street style. Our first product the “Urbolo” focused on stylish interchangeable bolo ties allowing guys match their bolo to their outfit.
A leading fashion magazine, one known as a zeitgeist for trends, BusinessWeek covered our launch.
Hailing bolo ties are back, and like that our Western origin story was born.
According to the BusinessWeek profile:
“I am in my early 30s, and don’t feel I can pull off the Southwest look on a daily basis, so we created a bolo with an urban edge,” says co-founder Vinnie Buehler. He recounts how the idea came together last summer over drinks at Manhattan’s Union Square, when he was listening to his friend, (now business partner) vent his frustration on the lack of neckwear options for men.
“We’ve noticed that people enjoy wearing them around their neck for more formal occasions,” adds Evan Ratner, “but friends also have enjoyed loosening them up and wearing them with a tee.” Breaking the chains of the necktie monopoly, one bolo at a time.
Today the brand has moved at light-speed far past the old west vibe and into many adjacent white spaces 👀. In the process, calinY has evolved into a full fledged lifestyle brand selling hats, tees, sweatshirts, kerchiefs (think yoga pants for your neck) and of course bolos.
As part of its efforts to engage and work with emerging artists, calinY recently collaborated with Aries and Taz who comprise SWYP (Show What You Possess) - a New York train-ing duo whose routines are sought out by enthusiasts from all over the world.
DON’T JUST SCROLL PAST THIS VIDEO. GIVE IT AT LEAST 30 SECONDS OF YOUR TIME. IT WILL BE WORTH IT
This holiday season get the man or woman in your life a gift that highlights their personal style and individuality.
Heck use the coupon code “ratlinks20” and receive 20% off any orders.
Your other option:
Don’t take my advice. Instead get that special someone, one of Oprah’s favorite things.
What did you say? You know I technically own that phrase.
Before we dive in.
A brief primer on trademarks:
A trademark is intellectual property comprised of a word, phrase, symbol, and/or design that identifies and distinguishes the source of the goods of one party from those of others. Unlike patents and copyrights, trademarks do not expire after a set term of years.
LEBRON
Lebron James is an NBA all-star, the lead actor in a cartoon reboot and most importantly a taco-lover. This love of tacos landed Lebron in agua caliente a few months ago, as he attempted to trademark the phrase “Taco Tuesday.”
According to his social media page, Lebron believed he had rightful claim to the phrase since he would announce his family’s taco night with:
You know what it is! Taco Tuesdayyyyyy!
Lebron attempted to capitalize by trademarking the phrase because This Is America.
According to The USA Today, the SOURCE for all trademark news, delivered daily to your hotel room.
LBJ Trademarks, LLC — one of James' companies — filed a trademark application for "Taco Tuesday" with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office on Aug. 15, records show.
At issue for taco lovers far and wide is the question:
Should anyone hold a trademark for a phrase in liberal usage at Mexican restaurants across the country? We will get back to this issue in a moment.
Lebron’s trademark was blocked for a few reasons but my favorite is the “Taco Tuesday” trademark has been held since 1989 by the restaurant chain Taco John’s, based in Cheyenne, Wy. Taco John’s is quite litigious, fiercely defending its trademark over the decades with “hundreds” of cease-and-desist letters sent to restaurants and other businesses that use Taco Tuesday.
KYLIE
Kylie Jenner is a mother, reality TV actress and lipstick mogul.
Kylie recently became meme-worthy when a clip of her singing the phrase “rise and shine” went viral.
Kylie then attempted to capitalize on the attention by trademarking the phrase because This Is America.
Again, according to The USA Today, the SOURCE for trademark news, delivered daily to your hotel room.
Kylie was unable to win the trademark since a businesswoman in New Jersey already owned a trademark for the catchphrase. This was not Kylie’s first trademark kerfuffle, previously getting push back on her attempt to trademark her name. Kylie lost that dispute to another Kylie - Kylie Minougue.
KDB Pty Ltd. filed a Notice of Opposition on behalf of Minogue in February of that year, claiming that granting Jenner the desired trademark would dilute Minogue's brand. It also mentions that the singer is "known worldwide simply as 'Kylie'" and that Minogue registered the domain www.kylie.com in 1996.
Along with establishing Minogue's longtime presence, the notice was quick to shade Jenner, calling her a "secondary reality television personality”
Jeah! That’s Hot
Sometimes celebrities win trademark claims:
Announcer Michael Buffer is technically the only one allowed to announce “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble”
Chef Emril Legasse somehow owns the rights to "Bam!" The exact phrase used by Bam Bam Flintsone who seemingly had a million year head start.
Jay-Z and Beyonce trademarked their daughters name: Blue Ivy Carter™️.
Ryan Lochte trademarked Jeah!™️ a phrase no one in history has ever said.
Paris Hilton impressively proved she is no dumb blond by registering “That’s Hot”. Allowing Paris to collect a royalty every time a waiter puts a white plate down in a restaurant.
Leading me to wonder - why don’t I have a trademark?
Hello friends (trademark usage courtesy of Jim Nantz) I completely agree with you and the reason why I (read: my pro boner lawyer) am currently in the process of trademarking my own phrase.
This is a phrase that is common enough to be used daily, thus generating plenty of potential income from constant infringement; yet distinct enough that the US Trademark Office will allow it to be registered as a mark of trade like “That’s Hot” as opposed to a common phrase like “Taco Tuesday”.
WhileI can’t officially announce my new trademark yet; be aware once my trademark is approved please take precautions not to infringe upon it.
Consider this a warning.
Especially if and when you find yourself in any fast-casual purveyor of burritos. As you know, adding the side dish of mashed avocados, onions and tomatoes will likely result in a small up-charge, because:
GUAC IS EXTRA™️
If you or anyone you know infringes on my pending trademark in any form, please consider this a cease and desist.
If you do not cease and desist. Let’s get ready to rumble!
WHAT IS A SYNONYM FOR BEEF
This month I re-watched The Running Man my thirteen year-old-self’s favorite movie.
For the uneducated, The Running Man is a 1987 American dystopian action film directed by Paul Michael Glaser and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, María Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson, Yaphet Kotto and Jesse Ventura. .
Said differently - an action movie with two governors.
Recently released shot of Tesla’s new CyberTruck? No it is not.
The plot of the film is as follows:
In the year 2019 (TODAY?), America is a totalitarian state where the favorite television program is "The Running Man" -- a game show in which prisoners must run to freedom to avoid a brutal death. Having been made a scapegoat by the government, an imprisoned Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has the opportunity to make it back to the outside again by being a contestant on the deadly show, although the twisted host, Damon Killian (Richard Dawson), has no intention of letting him escape.
While I love Arnold and this movie, what interested me most was that the movie is actually based on a novel. A novel written by the one and only Richard Bachman.
Ah, Richard Bachman, I love that guy.
Wait a second who is Richard Bachman?
You know, the guy who wrote Rage, The Long Walk, Roadwork in addition to The Running Man.
Turns out, The Running Man flew out of Bachman within a single week, compared to his normal three month time frame to complete a novel.
Bachman described his process for this novel as one written by a young man who was angry, energetic and infatuated with the art and the craft of writing.
Still don’t know who Richard Bachman is?
Hello Friends. Does the name Stephen King ring a bell?
Obviously, but what does that have to with Stephen King? Wait one second are Richard Bachman and Stephen King the same guy?
Let’s go to the source:
Back in the early days of my career there was a feeling in the publishing business that one book a year was all the public would accept but I think that a number of writers have disproved that by now. I'm one of them and the guy who writes the Along Came the Spider books is another one who's written two or three books a year. (Stephen King taking a veiled shot at James Patterson, see below for more)
The name Richard Bachman actually came from when they called me and said we're ready to go to press with this novel, what name shall we put on it? And I hadn't really thought about that. Well, I had, but the original name—Gus Pillsbury—had gotten out on the grapevine and I really didn't like it that much anyway, so they said they needed it right away and there was a novel by Richard Stark on my desk so I used the name Richard and that's kind of funny because Richard Stark is in itself a pen name for Donald Westlake and what was playing on the record player was "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive, so I put the two of them together and came up with Richard Bachman.
King calls himself a writer but chose the name Richard Bachman over Stark Overdrive?
King planned for Richard Bachman to be his alter-ego for life, just like:
J.K. Rowling writing as Robert Galbraith
Garth Brooks performing as Chris Gaines
Donald Trump pretending to be no less than three different people, John Barron, John Miller and David Dennison.
Miley Cyrus’ apparent alter-ego Hannah Montana (still unproven).
King’s plan lasted about a week when a bookstore clerk named Steve Brown unmasked King. Leading to Brown interviewing King for the Amazon Fake News Washington Post.
MY (BOOK) STACK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS
More importantly, this was one of the first times readers became aware of the King/Patterson beef. The literary equivalent of the east coast / west coast rap battle.
In the rap game a diss track highlights a rivalry. Pusha-T, who you may remember from the Succession Theme Remix, famously released a diss track hating on Drake entitled “The Story of Adidon” telling the world about Drake’s love child.
Much the same, King ramped up his beef in an interview with The USA Today, the SOURCE for trademark news delivered daily to your hotel room, saying “Patterson is a terrible writer, [though] he's very successful” as well as tweeting this about Patterson:
James Patterson catches heat for pumping out tons of books.
I can’t hate on James Patterson. He knows exactly who he is - one of the top selling authors of all time and we all know success brings out the haters. Haters who hate that Patterson is a successful author that doesn’t really write his own books. Instead, Patterson writes a very detailed outline that is then handed to a ghost writer. I watched Patterson’s MasterClass and he appeared charming, insightful and didn’t deny his process.
Patterson at first took the moral high road “breaking Stephen King’s balls by saying positive things about him.”
Eventually King got to him, leading Patterson to write an unpublished book The Murder of Stephen King, a novel that features a detective named Jamie Peterson attempting to save King from the man who is trying to murder him.
Patterson pulled the plug on the novel because he didn’t want to cause "discomfort" to King especially after blurbing his own book again.
Patterson concluded “I know I’m not a terrible writer. That’s a little over the top” adding that if King wrote a novel called The Murder of James Patterson he “would definitely want to read it.”
BEACH READ
Are you going away this holiday season?
Need a book recommendation?
STEPHEN KING
Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King
Andy Dufresne, a banker, was convicted of killing his wife and her lover and sent to Shawshank Prison.
Too lazy to read? This book is also a fantastic film.
JAMES PATTERSON
Filthy Rich: A Powerful Billionaire, the Sex Scandal that Undid Him, and All the Justice that Money Can Buy: The Shocking True Story of Jeffrey Epstein by James Patterson with John Connolly & Tim Malloy
A fast paced investigative novel about Patterson’s Palm Beach neighbor Jeffrey Epstein. From the girls he employed as masseuses at his home, to the cops investigating the appalling charges against him, FILTHY RICH examines all sides of a case that scandalized one of America's richest communities.
The book is worth reading if you are interested in this story, but it still doesn’t clarify one important point.
Until Next Month
Fish Out Of Water (boat in airport). Evan Ratner, November 2019
“Remember, I said, it’s awfully early to be thinking this, but I always think it. Remember the attack on Merry Christmas? They’re not attacking it anymore. Everyone’s happy to say ‘Merry Christmas,’ right? Merry Christmas! That was under siege. You’d have these big department stores that say ‘happy holidays.’ They say where’s the ‘Merry Christmas?’ Now they’re all putting up ‘Merry Christmas’ again. And that’s only because of our campaign.”
President Donald J. Trump 7/31/2018
