RATLINKS: WALKING IN

Travel Review | Non-fiction Story

Welcome to this edition of Ratlinks for the eleventh month of the year.

This month’s edition of Ratlinks veers off in two directions one fiction and one non-fiction:

• Travel Review: 36 Hours In The Delta

• Ratlinks Tale: KEY MAN

First-time reading, forwarded this edition by a friend?

---

ONE HIT WONDER

Last month, I celebrated a wedding in the most romantic city in America.

Which one you ask? Was it Maui, or Charleston? What about Niagara Falls?

No, No and No.

Think somewhere more charming, more musical, and far more dangerous.

Put on my blue suede shoes
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues

I went walking in Memphis

Home of Blues, BBQ, and Elvis. Not just the birthplace of Rock 'n Roll, Memphis is also the second most dangerous big city in the country, (Anchorage Alaska is in the top spot). Memphis has a violent crime rate of 11.07 violent crime incidents per 1,000 residents and a property crime rate of 39.9 per 1,000 residents according to the latest data from the FBI.

Maybe that is why Memphis was named 100 of the World's Best Vacations by Life Books! Who ranked Memphis amongst the likes of The Vatican, Montezuma, Costa Rica, and Beijing, China.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I only spent 36 hours in Memphis. I may not have experienced all it has to offer but I experienced enough to be your guide. Come along and let me make Memphis your dream destination.

Touch down in the land of the Delta Blues

And into “America's Distribution Center.”

FedEx was founded in Memphis in 1971, and the company built a sorting facility and an administration building on the airfield. FedEx's package-sorting complex, which would later come to be known as the Super Hub, along with the company's around-the-clock operations have combined over the years to make Memphis International Airport (MEM) the number-one busiest cargo airport in the world.

In the middle of the pouring rain

Memphis Pro-Tip: Did your flight get delayed? Don’t be dismayed because there is only one Starbucks in the airport and it’s not open since it has no staff. Think outside the box, find the biggest FedEx container you can fit in, and ship yourself overnight right out of Memphis.

With my feet ten feet off of Beale

Beale Street, whose musical offerings have helped it to be voted the second most popular entertainment district in America following Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

They've got catfish on the table

Memphis Pro-Tip: If Beale Street Could Talk, it would say don’t visit alone at night. Instead, go for some day drinking and when you get hungry, eat like a king at Jerry Lawler’s Hall of Fame Bar & Restaurant

Put on my blue suede shoes

The Peabody Hotel is known for its famed duck walk, where twice a day crowds gather to watch the five resident ducks enter or depart the lobby fountain.

But do I really feel the way I feel?

Memphis Pro-Tip: These ducks do more than quack as one unlucky groomsman found out after a run-in with an angry bird. THAT’S RIGHT A DUCK BIT HIS TROUSER SNAKE

Followed him up to the gates of Graceland

Elvis Presley, the King of Rock 'n' Roll, made Memphis his home after his family moved to the city from Tupelo, Mississippi in 1948. You can tour his home Graceland and see the Jungle Room known as Elvis’ “Tropical Man Cave” featuring matching floor and ceiling carpeting.

Memphis Pro-Tip: Not willing to drive out of the city limits to visit Graceland. Instead stop in at Arcade, the oldest restaurant in Memphis. Try an Elvis Sandwich featuring peanut butter, banana, and bacon.

I went walking in Memphis

End your day at Memphis’ premier attraction, the biggest Bass Pro Shop in America. It is not only housed in the former Grizzly’s arena it also happens to be one of the largest pyramids in the world.

Memphis Pro-Tip: Get a suite with a view of the pro-shop. Rumor has it the taxidermy comes alive once the store closes.

Going to Graceland, Graceland. Memphis, Tennessee?

The combination of limited attractions and high crime makes Memphis a destination to visit only if you absolutely need to.

Where to visit instead? Grind City ranks just behind Dirty 'Burgh but still ahead of the Mistake By The Lake on Ratlinks proprietary list of American cities you only visit because of a wedding.

Still want to getaway?

Check out Ratlinks Issue #5 for a review of New Orleans

RatLinks: May 2019 - Issue #5

---

KEYMAN

The day started like any other day. Mainly pretending to work while drinking coffee, mixed with the occasional chit-chat and doom scrolling. When a calendar reminder popped up on the screen: Conference Room Five Minutes

Josh thanks for coming. We are going to make this quick. Today is your last day.

A range of emotions suddenly washed over Josh. Shock led to anger which gave way to fear as Josh thought What am I going to do? He stood up, handed over his badge, and walked out of the office for the last time.

Not sure where to go or what to do, he drove aimlessly for about an hour collecting his thoughts when almost on autopilot he pulled into his garage. As he walked through the door he wasn’t sure about what happened or what to do next. Before his wife could even say hello, Josh blurted out

Honey you aren’t going to believe this. My division is getting sold, I think we may be rich!

In that instant, everything changed. He was not sure why said that, but he did. The worst part was Josh knew if he was truthful his wife would have understood, she always did.

Josh might no longer have a job, but no one had to know. Every morning to keep up appearances Josh would wake at 5:45 am, ride the peloton, shower, and then “head to work”.

In actuality, Josh would drive to a coffee shop two towns over, limiting the chance of being seen by anyone he knew. Around two in the afternoon the coffee shop would close and kick him out. Still having a few hours to kill, he would drive around aimlessly but was wasting too much gas. Now he sits in his car at a semi-abandoned park which allows him on occasion to play pick-up basketball against middle schoolers.

Things were not going well for Josh, at all. He depleted his savings and was now racking up credit card debt. Even worse than his crippling financial situation was the existential dread of living a lie.

II.

One night after a few hours of tossing and turning, Josh falls into a deep sleep. Only to be awoken by the sound of his phone. Groggily he answers it.

On the other end, he hears a garbled voice, shouting over the loud din of a party. Josh can barely make out what is being said until he hears, I see you are practicing your jump shot.

The next morning as Josh awakens to start yet another bizzaro groundhogs day, he freezes as he looks at a text from the same unknown number that called last night.

Don’t worry your secret is safe with me.

The second Josh finishes reading the text his phone rings

Josh? Josh? Joshua? A strange voice inquires

This is Stan Bull. Come by my office. We should talk.

Josh is unsure of who that this is or why exactly they are calling, but this has to be better than sitting in a coffee shop.

He deepens his voice in an attempt to respond cooly:

I’m listening

III.

The office of Bull Pen Partners is nice. Almost too nice.

A receptionist escorts Josh down a long hallway toward Stan Bull’s office. The office is very busy. Yet it is unclear what is actually being done.

Stan doesn’t notice Josh enter, as he is hyper-focused on a paper on his desk.

Before Stan even acknowledges his guest, he presses a button on his phone, pauses to listen for a second screams into the receiver then slams the phone down.

Stan finally looks at Josh

Joshua, I want to know I only hire the best and I only expect the best out of the people I hire.

I am so selective in my hiring that most of my employees, I have worked with previously at other ventures. Those companies didn’t want me taking their best employees so I took the liberty of firing each of them. This allowed me to freely rehire them when I eventually launched my own business. Companies can’t enforce a non-compete against a fired employee. Talk about a great little contracts loophole.

Is that legal, sir? Josh asked sheepishly

I’m not sure, but it’s effective. I am basically a lawyer.

Josh, I didn’t bring you here to debate contacts. We are launching a brand new business and I need someone with your skills to run it.

What’s the project? Josh responded confidently in an attempt not to alert Stan that he was unclear of what skills he possesses.

Stan turned away toward his window and began to pitch Josh on his “new role”

There is a huge untapped market out there Josh. You see people love to get presents on their birthday. Candies, toys but most people send bouquets of flowers. However, the shelf-life of those products is very short. Even worse as the flowers wilt it causes most people to think about their own demise rather than celebrate what should be a happy occasion.

I completely get it, sir, I hate my birthday for just that reason - Josh replied in an attempt to brownnose his way to the job

Instead of sending fresh produce, we send plastic fruit. I call it Inedible Arrangements.

Josh sighed deeply, taking a minute to weigh the stupidity of this idea against his personal desperation.

Stan began to get impatient. His knew his pitch was rock solid, why didn’t Josh agree. Was his deliberation a negotiation tactic? If so he could do that too and began to negotiate against himself.

I was told I need you. Let me show you how serious I am.

Stan pulled out his checkbook and quickly scribbled something down. He then slid the paper across the desk.

Josh looked at the check aghast as he had never seen that many zeros before.

IV.

Before Josh could say a word an IT guy abruptly entered the office.

Boss, the new guy is requesting an ASCII keyboard, what should I do?

Stan’s temperament swings, becoming irate as he does not fully grasp the meaning of the request.

He wants a what? Where is he?

Stan pushes Josh out of the way and heads toward an open bullpen where most employees are sitting.

Hey new guy do you have a problem?

New guy? Stan, I worked for you for two years at your last firm and three years at the firm before that.

Stan looks at him coldly.

You worked for me for that long and didn’t think to bring your own keyboard? I don’t care how long you worked for me.

With that Stan rips the keyboard from the base of the computer and snaps the keyboard over his knee.

Today is your first and last day.

Keys begin to rain down all over the office with the space bar hurtling towards Josh, slapping him right across the cheek. WHACK!

Stan turns back disregarding the scene he just caused.

Welcome aboard Josh! You start next week.

---