RATLINKS: DECEMBER TO REMEMBER
The holidays are a time to focus on what matters: vacation and food
Welcome to December, the holiday season and the final weeks of 2022.
While things are busy during the year-end sprint, pause to reflect on what you have accomplished this year and what you can still accomplish to make 2022 a great year.
Enjoy all the holidays have to offer. No matter how you celebrate them.
CRUISE CONTROL
Cruises are a popular way for people to travel because cruises are often cheaper than other types of vacations. Price is not the only factor when choosing a vacation, and people select cruises for other additional benefits like: visiting multiple ports of call, the ability to sunbathe while traversing the ocean, and as much food as you can eat.
The world's largest cruise ship is Royal Caribbean's Symphony of the Seas. The 228,081-ton vessel measures 1,188 feet long and 215.5 feet wide and can accommodate up to 6,680 passengers in 2,759 staterooms. It has a total of 22 restaurants and bars, a casino, two water slides, an ice rink, a zip line, an aqua theater, and an outdoor movie screen. Symphony can also hold over 18,000 pounds of human excrement or 2.69 pounds per guest.
WAR IN BUFFET
The cruise ship buffet is a vision of gluttony, with an endless array of food and desserts spread out before the obese vacationers. The air thick with the smell of fried chicken and sugary pastries, and the sound of laughter and conversation filled the room.
Vacationers many wearing matching vacation t-shirts trudge slowly through the buffet line, piling their plates high with food. Moving with a sense of purpose as if they had been waiting all year for this moment - to indulge in every possible type of food they could find. It was a strange sight to behold - one that made some onlookers uncomfortable - but for these people, it was just another day on vacation. A cruise ship buffet is a place where everyone could indulge in whatever their heart desired. There are no judgments here, only acceptance and understanding - something that these vacationers desperately needed in their lives.
Amid this sea of excess, there is one thing that stands out: the children. They are the only ones who seem to be truly enjoying themselves, their faces lighting up with glee as they fill their plates with an array of sugary treats and sodas. It's a strange sight, as children indulge in these unhealthy snacks, some consuming more than a bathtub of soda over the course of the day, but it's also understandable; after all. This is AMERICA.
As the sun shone down on the vast expanse of the ocean, its waves lapping against the sides of the cruise ship. Passengers lounged on deck chairs, enjoying the warmth and tranquility of the day. But below deck, a different scene was unfolding. The crew members worked tirelessly to keep everything running smoothly. From cleaning cabins to serving meals, they worked long hours with little rest in between shifts.
The cramped quarters and lack of fresh air made it difficult for them to stay healthy and energized. On top of that, they were away from their families and friends for months at a time, dealing with homesickness and loneliness. Despite these hardships, they persevered and kept the ship running like a well-oiled machine. They put in extra effort to make sure that passengers had an enjoyable experience, often going above and beyond their duties to provide excellent service. It was a thankless job but one that was essential to making sure everyone had a good time aboard the cruise ship.1
SECRET FAMILY RECIPES
Most online recipes start with a long paragraph about the author’s experience with a dish followed by its recipe.
Why is that?
Recipes can be protected under copyright law if they are accompanied by “substantial literary expression.”
This expression can be an explanation or detailed directions, which is likely why food and recipe bloggers often share stories and personal anecdotes alongside a recipe's ingredients.
MAMA NONNA’S CHESTNUT PIE
Growing up in a traditional old-world city Nonna would spend her mornings helping around the house and her afternoons foraging for chestnuts with her Papa. Papa would use a special tool known in Italian as a martello to open the chestnuts and Nonna would roast them on an open fire. Sundays were a special day when the family would sit around the table and enjoy a big dinner together. As she grew older Nonna would spend her evenings preparing for those big family dinners. It was daunting at first to use the family’s wood fire oven but when she figured it out, she became an alchemist.
It was moments like these that made Nonna feel like she had come into her own as an adult; that she could take on any challenge life threw at her and succeed at it with confidence and poise, a symbol of strength and resilience for Nonna as she navigated through life’s ups and downs.
You have surely tried pie and potentially chestnuts, but you likely have never tried anything as magical as Nonna’s creation. Legend has it that the townspeople traveled from miles away just to get a whiff of her freshly baked goods.
If you have read this far as a token of my thanks I will let you in on one of Nonna’s secret family recipes.
Mama Nonna’s Chestnut Pie
Ingredients:
1 pie crust2
1 1/2 cups roasted chestnuts
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup italian liqueur
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a food processor, combine chestnuts, sugar, flour, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Add butter, vanilla, allspice, and salt. Process until chestnuts are finely ground.
3. Pour mixture into pie crust. In a small bowl, whisk together eggs, water, and liqueur. Pour over the chestnut mixture.
4. Bake for 40 minutes. Let cool before serving.
Mama Nonna’s chestnut pie is the perfect holiday recipe. It is delicious and festive dish that is easy to make.
Please note I don’t have a Nonna, nor has anyone ever made this pie. Both this story and recipe were completely fabricated with the help of AI.
Almost all of this edition was written with the help of AI
Want to make your own pie crust Momma Nonna’s way?
Ingredients:
4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup vegetable shortening
2 large eggs
1/2 cup cold water
Instructions:
1. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour and salt.
2. Cut in the shortening with a pastry cutter or two forks until the mixture looks like small peas.
3. In a small bowl, beat the eggs and add
4. Add the egg mixture to the flour mixture and mix until the dough starts to come together.
5. Add the cold water and mix until the dough is soft and pliable. You may need to add more water or flour if needed for desired consistency.
6. Knead the dough for a few minutes and form into a ball. Cover and let rest in the refrigerator for at least an hour.
7. When ready to use, roll out pie dough on a lightly
Again I can’t vouch for this recipe as it was written by an algorithm that was programmed to think it was an Italian grandmother.